Can You Still See Me?
by CosmicPenguinn
Summary: The sound of sirens rang in Makoto's ears, but he didn't pay no mind to them. Haruka's eyes closed once more, and Makoto shook as violent sobs took over. The paramedics rushed over to the two of them, asking Makoto questions about the situation. He didn't even think when he spoke to them. There was only one thing repeating over and over in his mind. "It's all my fault..."
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Can You Still See Me? (Chapter 1)  
**Series:** Free!  
**Rating:** M  
**Characters:** Haruka Nanase, Makoto Tachibana, Nagisa Hazuki, Rei Ryugazaki, Rin Matsuoka  
**Pairings:** Makoharu (main), Reigisa (side)

**Summary:** _The sound of sirens rang in Makoto's ears, but he didn't pay no mind to them. Haruka's eyes closed once more, and Makoto shook as violent sobs took over. The paramedics rushed over to the two of them, asking Makoto questions about the situation. He didn't even think when he spoke to them. There was only one thing repeating over and over in his mind. "It's all my fault..."_

**Warning:**** This fanfiction involves rape, and in this chapter there's a small scene that includes rape, so please be aware of this as you're reading.**

**Makoto 3 - 17:32**  
_I'll be late again, I have an assignment I have to finish up, I'll meet you at home! Be careful!_

**Haru-chan 3 - 17:33**  
_Good luck with your assignment, hurry home_

**Makoto 3 - 17:35**  
_Thanks, Haru-chan! c: I'll be home as soon as I finish!_

**Haru-chan 3 - 17:36**  
_I'll be waiting 3_

**Makoto 3 - 17:36**  
_c; 3_

Haruka sighed as he locked his phone, shoving it carelessly into his pocket. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't get used to walking home alone without Makoto walking by his side. All throughout high school they had walked together to and from school, but even with their destination the same he still found himself walking home alone.

He wasn't mad at Makoto for staying behind, he knew the college student had a ridiculous amount of work to do. Haruka had just felt lonely without him. He almost felt naked without him by his side, for someone that was always there with him whenever he looked to the side. Makoto had promised whenever they got out of school around the same time that they would walk home together. When school had started, they had always walked home together. Now that it was getting farther in the school year, Makoto was getting new assignments and difficult projects thrown at him left and right. All that just to teach little kids about swimming, Haruka found it hysterical. Still, it was what Makoto needed to do to accomplish his dream, and Haruka didn't complain. He had just missed him is all.

Haruka quickened his pace, longing to get home. He knew no matter how fast he made it back home it wouldn't change anything about how long it takes for Makoto to get home, but the idea of cuddling with him on the couch sharing soft little kisses made him want to get home as soon as possible. His walking turned to running, his calm breaths turned to quick pants. He wanted to get home as soon as possible.

However, it was beginning to grow dark, and Haruka was still unfamiliar with most of the area. He continued running until he realized he was in an area that he did not recognize. All of the buildings and street names were new to him. He cursed under his breath. He turned around and attempted to go back the way he came, but he couldn't remember where that was now. Still, he continued to walk straight down the same path, which resulted in even more buildings and street names he did not recognize. Haruka pulled out his cell phone, it had been almost an hour now since Makoto had texted him. He knew Makoto must be on his way home now or at least making his way out of the building to head home. Unfortunately, the university Makoto was attending was farther from their home than Haruka's was, but Haruka figured he may as well try giving him a call. Makoto was better with directions, and he may know his way around seeing how he planned on going to Tokyo early enough to learn all the nearby areas.

_"Hello? Haru?"_

"Makoto, are you on your way home yet?"

_"Yeah, Ill be home soon enough. Did you need me to get something for you?"_

"No, I just need directions. I kinda got lost on my way home."

_"Haru! I told you to be careful! I'll come find you now, are there any street signs nearby or anything that stands out?"_

"Hmm.. well there's- mph!"

A rough hand covered his mouth while another hand grabbed his upper arm to get a better grip on him. In a panic, Haruka dropped his phone on the ground and thrashed around. More hands grabbed him until he couldn't move, and he was roughly pinned to the ground. He attempted to reach out to grab his phone, hearing Makoto's worried calls.

_"Haru?! Haru, are you there! HARU PLEASE ANSWER ME!"_

**_CRUNCH_**

Before Haruka could grab his phone, a foot came crashing down on it, smashing it into bits and pieces. The man leaned down to meet eyes with Haruka, and grinned.

"Where would the fun be if you told your little buddy where we were?"

Haruka opened his mouth to scream, only to feel a cloth being shoved into his mouth. One of the other men untied his uniform tie and wrapped it around his mouth to keep the cloth in place. He then moved lower to unbuckle Haruka's belt and tie it around his wrists, the leather pinching his skin. Haruka's bounded arms were raised above his head and kept in place by the man that had broken his phone. Large hands wandered all over his frame, ripping off his clothes, pulling down his pants and boxers, discarding everything until he was void of any clothing. Haruka cried out as hands, maybe ten or twelve, roamed all around him, brushing up and down his skin, fondling with places that only Makoto is allowed to touch. The man holding down Haruka's arms adjusted his tied up hands so they pressed against the bulge in his pants, and Haruka wanted to throw up. Tears rolled down his cheeks as the remaining hands began to wander even lower, wrapping around his dick, cupping and squeezing his ass. He shivered as he heard belts being unbuckled, jeans being unbuttoned. He thrashed around at one more attempt of getting away, earning a harsh slap to the face.

"This is just where the fun begins, darling."

Makoto ran faster than he ever ran in his 20 years as he hurried to his beloved. Haruka was lost, and something was wrong. The muffled sounds, the gripping of clothing, the loud crunch that cut off their connection meant someone was there. Someone was with Haruka. Someone was hurting his precious Haruka. And Makoto didn't know where Haruka was to save him from the monsters that were hurting him.

A loud growl escaped his mouth just thinking of someone touching his precious Haruka. Someone that wasn't him had their slimy hands all over him, touching him in places that they should never be touching. And he wasn't there to stop them from hurting him. Makoto was pretty familiar with the areas around their home, since he had been looking at other houses before he found there's, but he wasn't sure exactly where Haruka was, so it would take time alone just to find him. Tears rolled down his cheeks, knowing no matter how fast he ran, he wouldn't make it to Haruka on time. However, he would try his hardest to get there as fast as he could.

"_I'm sorry, Haru... I'm so sorry... Please forgive me..._"

It had already been over twenty minutes since Haruka had called him, since Haruka was in danger. Makoto had only just made it to their area, and Haruka was most likely still with those monsters. Makoto had prayed Haruka had made it away from them, but the world was a cruel place. He had asked everyone he passed if they saw him, all of them replying with the same answer, that the last time they saw him was this morning when the two were on their way to their separate schools. Makoto tried to put himself in Haruka's mind and think of where he could have gotten lost, but it was hard since this area wasn't exactly the smallest.

Makoto continued running, his legs were burning and his face was hot from sweat and tears. His body ached, begging for a break, but Makoto would not rest. Not until he was sure that Haruka was saved from those animals that were most likely tearing him apart right at this very moment.

A loud scream was heard, and Makoto instantly recognized it as the voice of his beloved. Another round of fresh tears rolled down his cheeks as he ran to the source of the sound. He couldn't imagine what those monsters had done to him to make him scream like that, it sounded as if he was being murdered. Makoto swallowed the lump in his throat and braced himself for the worst.

However, Makoto wasn't not prepared for what he was met with.

He dropped his bag, his legs felt like jelly as he wobbled over to his beloved. Haruka was laying on the cold ground on his side, facing Makoto. His clothes were ripped to shreds all around him, and just from where he stood Makoto could see all the scars, bruises, and cuts that were littered his pale skin. His wrists were bound together with his belt while his mouth was loosely tied with the tie from his uniform. A saliva-covered cloth was sitting a few inches away from Haruka's mouth; Makoto assumed the cloth was stuffed in his mouth. And Haruka's eyes were closed, his body limp, but he was still breathing. Makoto could see the trails his tears had left along his cheeks, with one of his cheeks a bright red and slightly purple.

Makoto walked closer to Haruka and looked over to see there was a puddle of blood surrounding his thighs. Just at the site of Haruka all broken and bruised like this broke his heart. If only he had gotten out of school earlier, he could have met up with Haruka to prevent all of this from happening. It was his fault Haruka was in this condition.

Feeling like an idiot for not thinking of it sooner, Makoto immediately pulled out his phone to call for an ambulance. His voice shook and cracked as he spoke on the phone with the paramedics. After he hung up the phone, Makoto took off his jacket and gingerly wrapped it around his beloved, cautious of hurting him. He then attempted to pick him up and rest him in his lap until the ambulance arrived, but he heard a soft whimper of pain and he gasped as he saw Haruka's eyes open slightly. Haruka looked up at him, a tear rolling down his cheek. Makoto shook at how empty and lifeless Haruka's eyes had looked. He was always able to read Haruka like a book through those adorable cerulean eyes of his, whether Haruka was happy, sad, excited, lonely, angry, content, anything. But now, Haruka's mind was blank, nothing going through his mind at all. Except for one thing.

_Is it over?_

Makoto wrapped his arms around Haruka tightly until Haruka's face was smothered into Makoto's neck, Makoto sobbing loudly onto Haruka's shoulder. He hugged him tighter, making sure he held onto him securely but not enough to hurt him.

"It's over, Haru... It's over..." Makoto whispered with a sad smile, looking directly into Haruka's blank eyes.

The sound of sirens rang in Makoto's ears, but he didn't pay no mind to them. Haruka's eyes closed once more, and Makoto shook as violent sobs took over. The paramedics rushed over to the two of them, asking Makoto questions about the situation. He didn't even think when he spoke to them. There was only one thing repeating over and over in his mind.

_"It's all my fault..."_

_**To Be Continued**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** Can You Still See Me? (Chapter 2)  
**Series:** Free!  
**Rating:** M  
**Characters:** Haruka Nanase, Makoto Tachibana, Rin Matsuoka, Nagisa Hazuki, Rei Ryugazaki  
**Pairings:** Makoharu (main), Reigisa (side)

**Summary:** _The sound of sirens rang in Makoto's ears, but he didn't pay no mind to them. Haruka's eyes closed once more, and Makoto shook as violent sobs took over. The paramedics rushed over to the two of them, asking Makoto questions about the situation. He didn't even think when he spoke to them. There was only one thing repeating over and over in his mind. It's all my fault..._

**Warning:** **This fanfiction involves rape. There is no rape scene involved, but it does discuss the subject, so please be aware of this as you're reading.**

Makoto stood in front of the vending machine, waiting for the doctors to come out of the emergency room and inform him of Haruka's condition. Was it as serious as it appeared, was it worse than how it appeared, or did it appear worse than what it really was? He remembered Haruka's lifeless eyes and knew for a fact that it couldn't be the latter of the three. His emerald eyes watered as the image of Haruka broken in his arms played over in his mind over and over and over again. Whoever had done this to his beloved would _pay_, Makoto was sure of that. However, for now, he needed to stick by Haruka's side until he makes a complete recovery.

After inserting the right amount of cash, Makoto selected his beverage and reached down to grab it. His hands shook as he held it in his hands, his leg bounced nervously even though he was not sitting down. He found himself pacing back and forth, it seemed to be the only thing to keep him calm at this point, to keep him from screaming and punching a hole into the wall.

He continued to blame himself for the incident. Makoto knew he could have just taken the assignment home to work on it, but he figured he would concentrate better if he stayed behind, and if he had any questions he could always ask his professor. In the end, there was nothing Makoto had needed help with, which made him feel all the more guilty. If only he had just taken the stupid assignment home rather than stay behind for no reason, this whole thing would not have happened. He would have been with Haruka the entire walk home so no one could lay their filthy hands on him, so everyone knew Haruka had belonged to him and him alone. The two could be home by now, snuggled up together in their bed as they watched silly romance movies, not even paying attention to the movie but sharing small passionate kisses instead.

Makoto shivered, biting his nails in another attempt to keep himself. He checked his watch, it must have been over an hour by now since the two had arrived at the hospital with Haruka being rushed to the emergency room while Makoto was left behind in the waiting room. Makoto was normally quite a patient person, but at this rate he felt his patience slipping away with each passing second. He had just wanted to know if Haruka would be alright and how serious the damage was. Makoto knew from the look of Haruka's dull eyes it would not be an easy recovery, but he would sure as hell be there every step of the way for Haruka to recover.

A tear rolled down his cheek just thinking about Haruka scared and in pain. How terrified he must have felt when those animals were attacking him like that. More tears flowed, and with shaky hands Makoto wiped them away. He didn't want to think of Haruka in that situation, it was too much for him to handle. He just wanted to hold Haruka in his arms, reassure him that everything was all right and that no one would ever come after him like that ever again. Makoto gripped his canned beverage tightly until he was afraid it would burst in his hand. He just wanted to tell Haruka everything would be all right, even if it would take time for things to go back to what they used to be.

Makoto chuckled darkly, "Things never could go back to the way they used to be," he mumbled bitterly.

"Makoto?"

Internally gasping, Makoto slowly turned around to face the one who had called his name. He recognized the voice the second he heard his name being spoken. He tried his hardest to convince himself he was mishearing things, but his eyes proved him wrong as his emerald eyes locked with crimson red. Right before him was Haruka's closest friend other than Makoto himself, the one that had helped Haruka find his dream in the first place.

_Rin._

"Makoto? Why are you here? Is everything all right?" Rin asked worriedly.

Makoto stood there, frozen solid. Here was Rin, right in front of his eyes, unaware that his closest friend had been brutally raped and was currently being held in the emergency room to get thoroughly checked to determine how serious the situation was. Makoto knew, as much as he had wanted to, he knew he couldn't tell Rin about what happened to Haruka for many reasons. The main reason being how Rin handled certain situations. Makoto knew Rin would burst into a rage, forcing his way through the doctors and nurses even in the emergency room just to see Haruka and how bad the situation was. Makoto knew he was having a hard time just keeping himself from doing the same thing, he couldn't imagine how Rin would react if he knew about what had happened.

_"Rin cannot know about this."_

"Makoto?"

Makoto shook his head with a convincing smile that wouldn't make anyone think twice, "Everything's fine, it's just Haru.." he took a deep breath to keep the truth inside, "H-He just sprained his ankle is all."

Rin clicked his tongue, "That sucks, do you think he'll be able to keep away from the water for that long?"

Makoto allowed himself a small laugh, "Hopefully, I'll make sure to keep an eye on him," He was relieved to say that since it was the truth, "Wait, when did you get back to Japan? I thought you were still in Australia?"

"Ah," Rin walked over to the vending machine to pick out a drink, "My cousin's having a baby and my mother demanded me to come back for it. I'm not really complaining though, I can visit everyone here before I go back," he said as he grabbed his can from the slot.

"Oh, I see."

"I should probably get back though, she should be ready to have the baby any minute now and I know my mother will kill me if I miss it, it was nice seeing you again Makoto, remember to keep an eye on Haru until he makes a complete recovery!" Rin grinned.

Makoto nodded with a wide smile, "It was good to see you again too, Rin, and I'll watch over him as if my life depended on it!"

Rin disappeared down the hall, and Makoto let more of his tears fall. He felt incredibly guilty about lying to Rin about Haruka's condition and the real reason why he was in the hospital. He knew if he was having a hard time trying to remain calm, Rin would most likely flip out as well. Makoto swore to himself he would tell him in time and he would explain why he didn't tell him sooner, but for now he had to calm himself down and find out the severity of the situation.

_"I'm sorry, Rin... I hope you can forgive me..."_

Makoto popped open his drink and took a large gulp, followed by a deep breath, before he made his way back to the waiting room. He prayed to himself that he would find out about Haruka's condition soon enough because he didn't know how much longer he could wait without losing his mind.

After what felt like another hour, the doctor emerged from the emergency room and made his way over to the waiting room. As he entered the room, his eyed laid upon Makoto who he instantly recognized as the young man who was alongside Haruka in the ambulance. Just the person he was looking for. As soon as Makoto locked eyes with the doctor he abruptly stood from his seat, rushing over to the doctor.

"How is Haruka?! Is he all right?! Does he have any serious injuries?!" Makoto asked a series of questions all at once.

The doctor took a deep breath, "Come with me, you can see for yourself. I'll tell you the details on the way."

He turned to exit the room with Makoto following behind. The two continued to walk down the hallway until they made it to the elevator. Makoto gave the doctor a confused look as the doctor gestured him onto the elevator.

"Nanase-kun will be in the hospital for quite some time, so we decided to move him to a higher floor to make room on the main floor," The doctor explained, pressing the buttons on the side until the doors began to close.

"How.." Makoto swallowed the lump in his throat, "How bad is his condition?"

The doctor turned to Makoto with sympathetic eyes, "His condition is rather serious, unfortunately. We ran many tests on him to find out as much as we could. The tests revealed that..."

"That...?"

"It appears that Nanase-kun was raped multiple times. There was some major tearing which explains the blood around his thighs, and its suggested he stays in bed until it recovers. He has no broken bones, fortunately, but there are some bruises and scars that were a result from struggling and thrashing around. Also, when Nanase-kun regained consciousness, we tried asking him questions about what had happened, but it appeared he couldn't respond. There was no physical damage that caused it, so it must be from trauma."

Makoto stood there, frozen like a statue as he tried to process the information the doctor had told him, the information he had been waiting hours to hear.

_Haruka was raped multiple times._

_Haruka needed to rest in bed until the tearing was healed._

_Haruka couldn't speak because of trauma._

_Haruka was raped multiple times._

"Do you know who did this to him?" Makoto asked quickly.

"We were able to get DNA samples, but it appears there was more than one person. I hate to say it but the tests showed it could have been up to five or even six people that did this to him."

Makoto's hands clenched into a fist, and he grind his teeth together. Haruka, his precious, sweet Haruka was raped multiple times by not just one or two, not even three people but possibly six people. _Six_. Makoto had to try his hardest to hold his tears back as guilt attempted to eat away at him once more. If only he had been there to save him, Haruka would have never had to experience anything so disturbing and vile. If only he had been there.

The elevator came to a stop at last, and the two exited quickly. Makoto wanted to make it to Haruka's room as fast as his legs could possibly take him, he needed to see the damage for himself. To see if he looked any better from when he found him passed out and broken to bits and pieces. His heart ached just thinking about seeing those lifeless dull eyes. Those six men that did this to his precious Haruka would pay. However, Makoto knew he couldn't get his revenge yet. For now, he needed to stay by Haruka's side, he needed to be there for him to make it up to him for not being there in the first place, to prevent all of this from happening.

Had Haruka hated him for not being there for him to stop this? Makoto's blood ran cold just thinking about it, and he shivered.

The doctor came to a stop at a room numbered 430, "This is where Nanase-kun will be staying. We plan on keeping him for about a week, if he shows signs of a quick recovery he could go home sooner, but if it seems like hes getting worse we'll have to keep him longer. I'll be sure to inform you if his condition changes for better or for worse. I'll leave you to be alone with him now, he was unconscious when I left but he could have woken up."

"Alright. Thank you so much for informing me about all of this, doctor." Makoto forced a smile.

"If you need anything just call for me. My name is Dr. Yukazuki by the way," Dr. Yukazuki smiled sympathetically.

Dr. Yukazuki turned to walk back down the way he came, leaving Makoto alone to have privacy with his boyfriend. Makoto gulped, slowly reaching out with a shaking hand to grab the door knob. It was cool against his sweating palm. Gripping the door knob tightly, he carefully turned it, as if going too rough with it would break it right off the door, and slowly opened the door, preparing for the worst.

_I awoke to a blinding bright light with a quiet groan. I looked over to my left to see a doctor standing beside my bed with a clipboard in his hand, scribbling away. He hadn't realized I had woken up until I attempted to adjust myself but moaned softly out of pain. He set the clip board down on the counter next to my hospital bed._

_"I see you're awake now, Nanase-kun. My name is Dr. Yukazuki and I will be your doctor. I don't mean to bring back the awful pain that I'm sure you're trying your hardest to forget, but I would like to ask you some questions about what happened to you this evening."_

_I stared blankly at him._

_What happened to me this evening? What is he talking about?_

_Then it all came back in a flash._

_**"You're so beautiful, so sexy."**_

_**"Damn, so deliciously tight."**_

_**"Don't you ever forget about what took place tonight, got it? Well, not like you could anyway."**_

_**"You'll never forget about us and all the fun we had tonight."**___

_I felt an incredible amount of fear consume me, and my eyes widened, tears stinging, my body shaking. My blood turned cold and I felt goosebumps begin to rise on my pale skin. No, I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to relive the pain. No one needs to know about what happened. Its done, its over with._

_I shook my head back and forth, tears starting to roll down my cheeks. I gripped my blankets tightly as I tried to calm myself down._

_"Sir, it's okay if you don't want to talk about it, its perfectly normal to have this type of reaction."_

_All it took was a reassuring hand on my shoulder to send me back to that dark, awful place that my mind tried so hard to help me forget._

_I felt hands wandering all over my body. A strong pair pressed down on my shoulders to keep me down until they finished bounding my hands with my belt. I felt another pair of strong hands grab my ankles, refraining me from kicking any of them away from me. Still, I tried my hardest to free myself from all of their grips. There were so many of them, but I had to do something. Hands grabbed my torso to hold me down. I knew by then it was pointless to keep struggling, but I knew I had to do something to get away from them. My thrashing around earned a harsh slap to my cheek, my eyes stung with fresh tears from the pain. I felt a large pair of hands wandering around my body, pressing against anything it came in contact with. I felt his lips on my neck and I wanted to scream. More hands roamed around my skin, and I felt like throwing up._

_I opened my eyes to see who was doing this to me, and I realized I was back in the hospital room. The grip of the hand on my shoulder grew tighter and I shot up, smacking the hand away. I winced as I felt a strong, sharp pain in my lower back and I opened my mouth to groan loudly, but I could not find my voice to do so. I laid back down in my bed in the same position I was in when I first woke up._

_"I'm sorry, Nanase-kun." Dr. Yukazuki said softly._

_I saw him reach into his pocket to grab something. He pulled out what looked like a needle, but my vision was too blurry from the tears in my eyes to see clearly. In a swift motion, there was a small prick of pain in my arm, and suddenly I felt much more relaxed._

_"I'll explain the situation to you when you're more stable to handle it. But for now, try to get some rest."_

_I stared at him once more with blank eyes, wondering how I could manage to fall back asleep after reliving that painful event I never wanted to experience ever again, until everything around me grew darker and darker until it went black._

_When I awoke once more, the room was empty. I let out a sigh of relief. Being around people who I did not recognize made me feel more anxious than I wanted to admit. Would things always be like this from now on? That I would be anxious around anyone that I did not know? I felt so pathetic, so vulnerable, but no matter how hard I tried I could not get rid of this feeling. Even a doctor was enough to make me jump out of my skin, the slightest touch bringing me back to that dark, awful place._

_I heard the door knob turn, and I immediately tense up, gripping my blanket with both hands until my knuckles turn white. I feel cold sweat form on my skin, and a shiver goes down my spine. I don't even realize I'm holding my breath until my lungs ache, begging for oxygen. I take a deep breath as I watch the door open._

_Inside comes a tall young man, and he looks familiar to me, but my vision is blurry from sleep and unshed tears. I rub my eyes and blink a few times, and I notice the man has gotten closer. However, he looks different than how I saw him a moment ago, and I realize he looks exactly like the man who had put me in this hospital in the first place. My eyes widen, I feel my body shaking in fear. I shake my head back and forth. No, why is he here, what more could he possibly want from me? Can't he see the pain he has already caused me?_

_Immediately he comes closer, and on instinct I back up into the wall behind me. My lower back aches, and I bite my bottom lip to try to ease the pain. I feel his hands grasp my shoulders tightly, and I open my mouth to scream, but I cannot find my voice. I smack his hands away and scramble out of bed, but as soon as my bare feet touch the cold tiles, my back screams in pain and I lose my balance. The man attempts to catch me, but I push away from him and land on the cold tiled floor. He reaches out to me and I back up against the wall, shaking my head as hot tears roll down my cheeks. No more, no more, no more. I cannot take this, why cant he just leave me alone?_

_"Haru!"_

_I stop shaking my head. The tears stop falling. The shaking ceases._

_"Ha... ..t's me! It's ...! ... me, Ma..to! Haru, it's me! Makoto!"_

_I look up at the man in front of me._

_"It's me, Makoto! Can you hear me?"_

_**Makoto.**___

_I take a deep breath to calm myself down. I get a good look at the young man in front of me, and I realize that it truly is Makoto. I lean my head back and close my eyes, letting tears of relief fall freely. The man who has caused this is not here, its only Makoto. Hes here for me, to help me through this nightmare._

_"Haru?! Are you in pain?! Do you need me to get a nurse?!"_

_I shake my head, and point to my bed. I just want to lay back down and go back to sleep. Now that I know the man is not here and Makoto is, I can relax. Now I'm okay._

_"Do you need help getting back into bed?"_

_I nod, and I open my eyes to see Makoto getting closer to me to pick me up. On instinct, I flinch. From the corner of my eye I can see Makoto slowly pull away._

_"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."_

_Makoto's voice sounds so worried, so afraid, and so heartbroken all at once._

_"I'll go get a nurse to help you back into bed."_

_My eyes widen, panic rising within me. He's leaving me? Why? As he gets up, I reach my arm out to grab the hem of his shirt, but my arm shakes in fear. I don't want him to go, not yet. I need him by my side to stay sane, but hes leaving me. I bring my arm back down and hold my hand to my chest, allowing my tears to flow, allowing my shoulders to shake. I look down into my lap so he cannot see me in such a vulnerable state. I hear him whisper one last thing as he hurries out of my room._

_"I'm so sorry for all of this, Haru. I'm the reason why you're stuck in here, scared and alone..."_

Makoto stood outside the hospital, his hands clenched into a tight fist. On his way out of the hospital, he passed a nurse and told him about Haruka so she could help him. Immediately the nurse rushed past him in the direction he came from while he hurried to get out of the hospital. He felt his whole body shaking, hot tears flowing down his cheeks. Makoto sat down on a nearby bench and screamed loudly into his hands. More tears rolled down his cheeks as his screams grew louder and louder, until his throat began to burn.

Here Haruka was, lying in a hospital bed. He was so scared, so terrified, that instead of seeing Makoto approach him, he saw one of the bastards that had caused him all of this pain to begin with. And even when Haruka had realized it was Makoto, he still flinched when Makoto had tried to reach out to him. All he had wanted to do was help his beloved, but he couldn't even do that right. After all, Makoto had blamed himself for Haruka going through all of this in the first place. Does Haruka really do hate him? Is Haruka as scared of Makoto as much as the men that had raped him? Makoto let out a choked sob just thinking about it.

Haruka was everything to Makoto. His best friend, his boyfriend, his soul mate, they were practically two halves of a whole. Makoto was always able to tell what Haruka was thinking, even when he didnt speak a word. Makoto needed Haruka by his side, he couldn't think about his life without him. When Haruka had told him he was coming with him to Tokyo, his whole world lit up. Haruka was always by his side no matter where they went, and whenever the two were alone, they always had their arms wrapped tightly around each other. To think Haruka was practically afraid of him, that just when Makoto brushed his fingers against his skin, Haruka would flinch out of fear, it broke Makoto's heart to pieces.

Would things always be like this from now on? Would Haruka live his life in fear of Makoto, and would Makoto live his life with Haruka being afraid of them? Would Haruka stay in Tokyo after this, or would he go back to Iwatobi, or somewhere away from Makoto? Would Haruka want to end things with Makoto for good for putting him through something like this?

More tears swelled in Makoto's emerald green eyes and he didnt hesitate to let them fall, he didn't hesitate to scream into his palms once again. Why _wouldn't_ Haruka hate him? It was Makoto's fault after all. If only he was there for him sooner. If only he hadnt stayed behind at the University. If only he hadn't been such a horrible boyfriend. As selfish as it was, Makoto had prayed Haruka would forgive him for his mistakes. He had just wanted to hold Haruka in his arms and tell him everything would be all right, that he would never put him through something like that ever again. But would Haruka even believe him?

Makoto had thought about going back inside to talk to Haruka and straighten things out, but he didn't want to scare him further. He knew he had made enough mistakes tonight, and that giving Haruka some time to himself would be the best option. Wiping away his tears with the back of his hands, he stood up and turned his back to the hospital.

As he was about to walk away, he heard a shout of his name. He turned around and saw a nurse heading his way.

"Tachibana-kun, please wait! It's about Nanase-kun!"

Makoto's blood ran cold. The nurse had wanted to tell him something about Haruka? Had his condition worsened because of him?

"What happened to Haru?" Makoto asked with a hoarse cry.

The nurse shook her head, "Nothing serious, dont worry. Nanase-kun asked for you. He wants you to go see him."

Makoto blinked. Haruka wanted to see him? But why? Wasn't Haruka afraid of him? Didn't Haruka hate him for causing all of this? Makoto needed to find out.

"Thank you for informing me of this, Ill go see him right away."

Without waiting for a reply from the nurse, Makoto ran back into the hospital. He hurried past the front desk and all of the occupied rooms on the main floor until he made it to the elevator. He tapped his foot to the floor impatiently as he waited for the elevator to ding. After what felt like hours, the doors finally opened. Thankfully, there was no one else waiting with him, so he rushed inside and pressed the button for the fourth floor. He stood back from the doors and watched them come to a close. His stomach sank as the elevator shot up past the second and third floors until it came to a stop at the fourth floor. The elevator dinged once more, and the elevator doors opened. Makoto hurried out of the small space and down the hallway. He passed many occupied rooms until he came across room 430, Haruka's room. With a shaking hand, he grasped the door knob and quietly opened the door.

Makoto looked inside to see Haruka sitting up in his bed with a nurse next to him, watching over him. Haruka sighed in relief once he saw Makoto had arrived, and the nurse smiled sympathetically as she got up from her seat and left the room to give the two some privacy, closing the door behind her.

"Haru, I..."

Makoto didn't know where to begin, but fortunately, Haruka didn't seem to mind. He shook his head, patting the spot next to him. Makoto looked into his cerulean eyes. They weren't as lifeless as they had looked when Makoto had first found him, but they were far from normal. In his eyes, Makoto saw that Haruka was begging for him to stay, begging for him not to leave him when he needed him the most, begging for him to be there for him.

Immediately, Makoto walked over to him and sat down on the chair where the nurse had just been sitting. He felt tears swell in his eyes, full of relief that Haruka was not mad at him nor was he as scared of him as he was before.

"H-Haru, I..." Makoto's voice shook as he poured out his heart to him, "I-I'm so sorry, Haruka.. Its my fault that you had to endure something so terrible, if only I hadn't stayed after school, if only I had walked home with you.. If only I had made it to you sooner... I-Im just so sorry, Haru, and I know its selfish of me to even be saying this but I hope somewhere in your heart you can forgive me for being such a bad boyfriend... I promise I will never leave your side, we can walk home from school together every day, I will make sure nothing like this happens to you ever again, just please forgive me..." He lowered his head as tears flowed, "Please don't hate me..."

"Ma..koto..."

It was Haruka's broken voice that hurt Makoto most of all.

"I... I love... y..you..."

Haruka placed a reassuring hand atop Makoto's. Makoto could feel his smaller hand shaking, he was still afraid. Makoto now knew the fear was not aimed at him, but at the sick bastards that had caused this. Makoto grasped Haruka's small hands between his two large ones and brought them up to his lips and whispered,

"I love you too, Haruka. I love you so much."

Haruka tried his hardest to smile, but he knew he could not bring himself to do so, not after the evening he had to endure. He knew Makoto was right there by his side, not daring to leave him for a second, but he still felt afraid. What if the bastards did plan on coming back to attack him a second time? What if they had decided to go after Makoto this time instead? Haruka shivered at the thought. He had never wanted Makoto to ever have to experience the same thing he had gone through tonight.

"Haru, are you all right?" Makoto asked as he felt Haruka shiver.

Haruka nodded, but Makoto could see the tired look in his eyes. Makoto knew Haruka must have been very exhausted after today's events. He stood up, and immediately Haruka tensed up, thinking Makoto was going to leave him all alone again. Haruka gripped is hand tighter around Makoto's, looking up at him with wide, worried eyes. He slightly shook his head. If he wasn't in such a vulnerable state, he would have been able to bring Makoto back down, but all he was able to do was keep in place.

"Haru, Haru," Makoto whispered soothingly, "I'm not going anywhere, love, I was just going to help you lay back down. I know your back must still be in pain."

Haruka softened his grip on Makoto's hand and allowed him to help adjust his position. He turned his head over so he was facing Makoto, thanking him with his eyes. He had lost his voice once again, only wanting to sleep. Slowly, he closed his eyes, the last thing in his sight was Makoto's sympathetic smile.

As soon as Makoto was sure Haruka was sound asleep with his soft, slow breaths, he pulled his chair a little closer to Haruka's bed. He rested a gentle hand on his head and brushed his fingers through his navy blue locks. Makoto took note that it was not as soft as it usually is.

"Haru... I will never leave your side ever again..." Makoto swore, "I will make sure nothing happens like this _ever_ again."

•°• **_To Be Continued_** •°•


End file.
